Hatred
by Rydia Highwind
Summary: Houjun comfronts his lover and his best friend after being betrayed.


The rain is cascading down in torrents, hitting the ground hard enough to pelt tiny holes in the bare ground and wash the topsoil down the makeshift river that was once the main street of my town. It flows angrily as the rain continues, overflowing the banks of the river and making no sign to stop anytime soon.  
  
But I don't care about the rain tonight.  
  
I don't care about alot of things tonight that I cared about last night. Last night, I cared about what I would say when I saw her, what I would do when she came near, what would I give her tonight? I realize now how foolish I was.  
  
I was stupid to fall in love, wasn't I. I should have known that she wouldn't be faithful to someone like me. But I never would have thought, never in my whole life would I have thought that I'd be betrayed by both the girl I wanted to marry and my best friend in the same day. I could have never imagined that she would fall for him, or him for her even. I just never could have guessed.  
  
And it makes me angry. I'm angry with her for betraying me. I'm angry with him for stealing my girl. I'm angry with me for not seeing it before. And I'm angry with everyone else for not understanding.  
  
And sitting in the dark, watching the rain flood the town isn't going to solve anything. I'm probably making things worse by sitting here and letting it simmer, but I don't care. I'm too angry to care.  
  
It's like a whole new feeling to me, almost. I've lost my temper before, but not very often, and never this badly. But it was just like something snapped inside of me the minute I walked through that door and saw them kissing. I can still see them if I close my eyes. I don't think I'll ever forget that, even if it wasn't a big deal. But then she called off the engagement...she must love him.  
  
I need to get up. I need to do something. Pacing doesn't help; slamming my fist repeatedly into the wall doesn't help; nothing helps. Maybe this rain will calm me down, keep me from doing something I know I don't want to do. I need self-assurance and control.  
  
I'm going outside now. The rain is coming down a little lighter now, but I'm still drenched on the second step out the door. I don't know where I'm going; I'm just wandering around, searching for something, someone to tell me it was all just a bad nightmare, that it wasn't real, that she never kissed him. I need to snap out of this, to wake up. But I know its true.  
  
And then, I see her. She is standing not fifteen feet ahead of me on a small ledge that peeks out over the swollen river. Her long skirts blow violently in the severity of the wind and her hair is drenched and sticking lightly to her face. Her hands are clasped around a tiny object I can't quite see. She is crying.  
  
I am surprised to see her out in this storm and I stop. I feel my numbed lips try and murmur her name, but without much success. She hears anyway and turns to look at me, the seas of her indigo eyes penetrating my very soul with that wide-eyed gaze I used to cherish. The wind captures her scent and I just want to run to her like I always have before. But I know now...I know that she doesn't long for my touch anymore.  
  
Her lips move. So slowly, so gently, so perfectly, just as she used to before, only yesterday, yet a daylong eternity ago. On her lips, her sweet lips, the words form and escape in the solitude, the void between us, the opened jaws of the chasm separating us. "I'm sorry, Houjun."  
  
And then, she is gone.  
  
  
I'm frozen in place. I cannot move. The one I love, the girl I was to marry, the only person who shared my hopes and dreams like no other can, she is gone now. She left me. Forever. I am unable to think, to comprehend.  
  
But it hits me. The tears slowly come, mingling with the cold, uncaring rain and soaking their warmth through to my numbed mind. I slowly thaw from my shock by that burning again, that burning rage in my soul, in my mind, in my heart. My fists are clenched at my sides; my tears are of anger now.  
  
I start to walk. My feet know the path well and I don't have to guide them. The water pools around my ankles when I reach the main road, but I can't even feel their yanking current. My eyes focused fixedly on my destination, I walk.  
  
When I find him, he will not look at me. I don't want him to anyway. But he understands to follow; he follows me to the river. I point and he sees the bit of fabric from the vest on her dress that had gotten snagged on a rock as she flowed by in the violent currents.  
  
He understands.  
  
I walk away from him. I don't know where I am going or why. My eyes see a blur of motions, my hands and feet moving independently from my mind. My emotions are blinded by hatred and despair and I feel the cold dark grip of a weapon in my palm. I'm going to kill him for taking her away. I'm going to kill him.  
  
He's standing on the outcropping that she flung herself from, staring unblinkingly into the water. It's so painfully easy. I walk toward him, my knife in hand, and anger gleams in my eyes. It is time for you to die, my best friend. My best friend. MY BEST FRIEND.  
  
I attack. 


End file.
